Finding Dory speaks to disabilities in a powerful way

I just saw Finding Dory, another wonderful production from the guys over at Pixar. And as with many connected with Hollywood and the film industry they are challenging society to think about what we all represent. In this case the challenge comes in the form of special needs children and adults and how society respects their needs.

It got me thinking. As parents of special needs children we focus much effort to ensure our children are as ‘normal’ as possible. That they conform to society’s norms and don’t stick out too much. But what about society’s responsibilities in supporting and responding to people with disabilities?

I remember an occasion some years ago. There was a small local supermarket near where we lived. Less than 5 minutes walk down our street in fact. We frequently visited this busy little store and we always organized for the boys to queue up and pay. After a while this became second nature and we started sending the boys down together for some treats they loved, cash in hand and as excited as they could be.

One day however the lady at the cash register was on a day off and the store owner stepped in. He took a very different view of the boys. He later claimed he thought they had ‘escaped’ from a local home and called the police who had a station right behind the store. The police having walked back to their station with the boys were confused by the whole matter, and simply asked the boys for our phone number.

By the time I arrived down to collect the boys Conor was very upset and Eoin was protesting in a diminished voice that ‘I am not a criminal’. My concern was for the boys, so I thanked the two policemen while explaining that the shop keeper had made a mistake, the boys were regulars at the store and that no one had escaped from anywhere.

The following day Val and I sat down to discuss what happened. By this time I was so mad I was just speechless. I just wanted to walk down to the store and strangle the life out of that guy. So Val, ever the thinker called the police and she with the officers met with the owner later that day. Afterwards she wouldn’t tell me what happened, only that she did not expect a recurrence and that the police stated that if we had any further issues they would ‘take care’ of them.

Most importantly the boys were affirmed equal participants with everyone who shopped in this little store and they were supported and enabled in a thoughtful way. A bit like what Andrew Stanton, director of Finding Dory, was trying to communicate.

I’d like to say this was the only incident of this nature we experienced. But there were many others in all sorts of situations and circumstances. We pushed the envelop because without doing so would have consigned the boys to the imaginary home invented by that shop keeper so many years ago. And I can say this, without exception, none involved in any of these ‘learning exercises’ will ever mistreat a person with a disability again.

So back to Finding Dory. The messages being communicated to society here are being discussed in the public arena and this awareness can only be a good thing. And we as special needs parents we can and should drive these messages home by our actions.